True, he once instructed his disciples to buy swords, telling them, that they were going forth into a world of enemies. But the whole passage shows he meant to speak by parable. They answer, "here are two swords." He replies instantly "it is enough." How could two swords have been enough for the twelve apostles, if he had spoken literally? Nay, when Peter used one of these, it was too much; Christ bade him, "put up thy sword,"
How can two swords be enough? Because they weren't expecting a big fight.
And besides, they didn't have much money to purchase more (sell your garments and buy one).
The reason that Jesus (peace be upon him) stopped Peter is because they were outnumbered (those who live by the sword die by the sword) and Jesus was realistic and explained that not all situations are solved by the sword (such as when you are outnumbered).
The order to purchase swords was no parable. It was not tongue in cheek.
It was a real command to prepare for a real fight.
If it had been meant non-literally, then Jesus would not have allowed Peter to bring his sword.
And certainly the disciples (who were there and heard it in context) did not consider it to be tongue in cheek.
It was only when Jesus saw that they were outnumbered in the garden of Gethsemame that he ordered his disciples not to fight.
Cetainly it is an insult to Jesus to suggest that he was such a fool as to always be a pacifist.
Certainly it is an insult to God to suggest that he would expect something so unreasonable from humans as to not fight for the oppressed.
I've noticed that Christians have a tendency to state that Jesus was not literal whenever they come across a verse they don't like.
Jesus says that to get to heaven one must follow the commandments, but the Christians say he wasn't literal and refer to Paul who said that by faith alone a person is saved.
Christians want to be lazy and look for a reason to avoid the law, so they say Jesus was kidding and they attach themselves to the false prophet Paul.
Jesus says, whosoever does not accept me as lord, bring them before me and slay them.
Christians say that it was part of the parable, but the parable was over when Jesus gets to that statement.
And even if it is part of the parable, the master in the parable represents Jesus, so the command to slay the unbelievers is still incumbent.
We see something similar in the old testament.
Now, I don't believe that Jesus actually said that since I don't believe the Bible.
But neither the Jesus of the Bible, nor the Jesus of real life was actually a pacifist.